Rape Culture: It’s Time For a Change

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Over the past couple years there has been a lot of media attention on sexual assaults on college Campuses. Stories from schools across the nation have made headlines. Documentaries like “the Hunting Ground” have shocked audiences across the country and schools are taking steps to change. Yet this problem is so much bigger than people realize because the media only tells part of the story. It isn’t just Columbia and Stanford. It’s not just young women on college campuses, sexual assault and violence against women happens everywhere, all the time, to girls and women of all ages.

Statistics say 1 in 6 women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. This fact hangs over the heads of women everywhere. It’s the little voice in our heads that makes us travel in packs. It reminds us to never walk alone. It’s the instinct to change directions when we notice a man walking behind us. It’s something all women have to live with.

Every day we walk down city streets with our heads down as men hollar, whistle and stare. In school we have to make sure we wear clothes that aren’t distracting to boys. No shorts too short, no stomach or bra straps showing. When we go out we make sure to turn guys down as politely as possible. We make up excuse and tell lies, we say we have a boyfriend because saying no is never enough.We teach young girls how to dress, how to act and what to say. We teach them all these things in hopes that they do not become that 1. The pressure is put on women to protect themselves from rape. But, maybe instead of teaching girls to not get raped, we could instead teach boys how not to rape.

We have the power to raise this next generation differently. Instead of telling girls to cover up, we should teach boys not to stare. We need to teach boys not to catcall, instead of teaching our girls how to avoid them. We need boys to learn that a girl can wear whatever she wants whenever she wants. We need to teach boys that no means no and there is no excuse for violating another person.We need to demand more from boys. We need to teach the next generation of boys to respect girls so they grown into men who respect women.

I am not having kids anytime soon. But one day down the line if I do I will make sure to raise them differently. Things do not have to stay the way they are, our generation has the power to change things. We can make sure the next generation of boys learn to respect girls. We can make sure the ones who don’t are held accountable for their actions. We can make sure the system is set up to protect the victim, not the culprit. If we can do all that then future generations of girls won’t have to live in fear.

Originally published on Her Track

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23 Career Tips For Ever Girl With A Dream

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Over the past 6 months I have attended 6 conferences. I have listened to Ted Talk style presentations sat through traditional lectures. I have participated in interactive workshops and watched professional panels. I have collected about 100 business cards and a notebook full of advice. Now I have taken everything I’ve learned from these events and picked the top pieces of advice that every girl needs to know. Whether you’re looking for an internship or your first real world job, here are a few things you should keep in mind. 

1. Do your research. Have questions prepared before you go to an interview.
2. Interning is like dating for your career. Do it as much as you can if you want to find out what you really want in out of your profession.
3. Arrive with a goal. Bring it with you whenever you meet someone or go somewhere.
4. Seek out mentors. Choose ones that represent the very best of what you hope to become.
5. Find someone whose judgment you trust. Learn from them. Ask questions. Take advantage of those connections.
6. Manage your professional image like a celebrity would. You are your relationships and your reputation.
7. When you are starting out, no job is too small. Every job is another opportunity to grow and build your skills.
8. If you’re asked to do something, say yes. And if you don’t actually know how to do it, research it and ask for help. Don’t give up too easily.
9. A setback is a setup for a comeback. Learn from your mistakes, and pick yourself up from the ashes better than you were before.
10. Stand out. Be memorable.
11. Don’t worry about failure. Worry about what happens when you don’t try.
12. Be considerate. Makes it a point to say hello and goodbye to everyone you work with every day.
13. Make yourself essential. Make yourself an irreplaceable asset and keep getting better.
14. Be confident, but realistic. Don’t be delusional, and ensure that you maintain a certain amount of humility.
15. Be accountable. If you make a mistake, own up to it.
16. Websites are like an online business card. Build your resume in a plethora of formats.
17. Don’t be afraid to move on. Do what is best for your career, even if it means cutting ties.
18. You don’t have to be the best, but you should always try and be the best. Diligence and hard work are everything in the working world.
19. Remove the word “should” from your vocabulary. Be assertive and clear.
20. Push yourself. Improve while also understanding your own limitations.
21. Don’t neglect your responsibility to take care of yourself. You cannot do your job if you are not at your best both physically and mentally.
22. Don’t look at your peers as competition. Work with each other to grow and collaborate.
23. Stop comparing yourself to other people because No one’s journey is your own.

You may not have your dream job quite yet, but this advice is sure to help you get there.  If you have any more career advice be sure to leave it in the comments below.

Originally published on Her Track

6 Things Single Girls Want For Valentines Day

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It’s that time of year again, the temperature is dropping, the snow is falling and store displays look like Cupid threw up. Valentine’s day is a wonderful time of year where people in relationships are encouraged to express and showcase their love. While the single people are constantly reminded that they are in fact single. This time of year can get rough if you don’t have an adorable SO to cuddle up with, but I think all of us single ladies can agree, just because we are alone does not mean that we are lonely. The fact of the matter is not all girls even WANT a boyfriend. In fact, there are actually a lot of things we girls want more. What are these things we could possibly want more than our Prince Charming you ask? Well here you go, a glance into the single girl’s mind. Here is a countdown of the top 6 things girls want more than a boyfriend.

6. Self Love
Every person at some point in their life has had trouble loving themselves. There is so much focus on attaining love from someone else that we forget how many of us are striving to love ourselves first. We wish more than anything to have more confidence, to believe in ourselves and to love ourselves. The truth is many single girls would rather work towards building their own self-confidence than wait for a knight in shining armor to do it for them.

5. Netflix
Well come on, this is pretty self-explanatory; I mean there is always something to watch, no matter what mood you’re in. You want a romantic comedy? Maybe a reality show? An action movie? An informative documentary? It’s got all that and more. Netflix is like every girl’s boyfriend. He’s always there when you need him. He doesn’t care if you’re wearing sweats and no make-up, and he actually prefers to stay in with you and cuddle on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn.

4. Money
Being a girl is incredibly expensive, clothes, shoes, bras, razors, waxing, nails, make-up, tampons; it adds up. So do you know what I want even more than for a boy to express his undying love for me? A million dollars. Actually, make it 5. The new spring clothing lines will be coming out soon…

3. A Kick Ass Career
We all have career goals, and many of us are in school because an education will help us reach our goals. But personally I would like some assurance that I am not working my butt off for nothing. All the time that can be wasted on boys could instead be used to plan for the future. Use your extra time to hunt for internships or to search for jobs in your field. The truth is, no matter how cute he may be, a boyfriend can never make all of your professional dreams come true. Only you can do that.

2. Travel
Rome, London, Australia, Iceland; these are just some of the places I will be traveling to someday. There is not a girl on the planet who doesn’t want to travel. You want to travel now while you’re young, before you settle down and start having kids. Besides, if you don’t have a boyfriend when you go abroad you can have a fling with a foreign boy who likes to whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

1.Food
Just food. All the food. Chinese food, pizza, mac & cheese, Chipotle, Panera. Basically anything with a high sugar and fat content will suffice. I can tell you right now, food is a constant thought on every girl’s mind. It is every girl’s greatest companion. Chocolate is always there. Cake will never judge. Most girls would agree, ultimately they love food more than they love boys. Because the truth is no boy can satisfy you the way Panera Mac & Cheese can.

Happy Valentine’s Day girls.

A Princess On Her Track

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I am excited to share some amazing news with all of you. One of my favorite bloggers Lexi Herrick just launched a new site called Her Track. It’s a collaborative site featuring some truly great writers and I am excited to say I am now one of them!

The site has articles to you ladies with anything life may throw at you. Decorating tips. work and internship advice, heartfelt stories, and a few little tips that may change a girls life. Go look at the site yourself I am sure you will find something you can relate too.

I am so incredibly grateful to be a part of this team, and I cannot wait to see where this track takes me. 🙂

 

A Few Things Every Princess Should Know About Underwear

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Underwear is a very big part of our lives. There are lots of rules when it comes to underwear especially for girls, so here are some rules about underwear that every girl should know. Some of these I was taught, others I had to learn the hard way, but now I am choosing to share all of my knowledge with you.

1. You can never own too much underwear. Seriously don’t let anyone tell you otherwise ok, there is no such thing as having too much underwear. I mean really there are so many different kinds, you should really own one of each kind. Also how can you not take advantage of those 7 for $25 deals at Victoria’s Secret? Besides the more underwear you have, the less often you have to do laundry.

2. Thongs are an interesting thing you either love them or hate them. Now I know what some of you are thinking, “why would I want to walk around with a wedgie all day?” Go out buy one, try it once. If you hate it, then toss it and never wear them again. If you actually don’t mind it then maybe go out and buy a couple more, like I said, you can never own too much underwear. But NEVER wear thongs to the gym because that can cause a yeast infection.

3. Try to stick with cotton underwear because synthetic fibers can cause an infection. You want stick with cotton and other natural fibers. Types of underwear to avoid include: nylon, and lycra.

4. Don’t be afraid to go commando, it can actually be good for you.

Now let’s talk about bras….

5. If your boobs are hanging out from any part of your bra, it doesn’t fit. So go buy a new one.

6.Get measured at least once a year. Seriously trust me, on this, there’s nothing worse than realizing none of your bra’s fit.

7. Buy 1 bra every time you have money. If you buy them all at once, they will all wear out at the same time. If you buy them all at different times you can avoid this.

8. When you buy a bra it should be tight on the loosest hook. That way as the band loosens you can tighten it.

9. Make sure you always own, 1 black, 1 nude, and 1 strapless.

10. Make sure you always use a bra bag when washing your bra’s.

11. Always, always, ALWAYS hang dry your bra’s.

photo courtesy of flickr